Here’s looking at you, cunt.

I’m in a somewhat provocative mood tonight, I think the fact I’m tired and have exams soon makes me want to vent some steam, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. This post will be neither productive or pleasant to read if your name is mentioned, but I don’t give care because if your name isn’t mentioned you might find it funny.

It’s basically about all those people on ‘the scene’ who really piss me off, the ones who you’d love to see someone take a burning, spike covered 2×4 to their head. Well, maybe not that far, but it’s sound.

There are a number of candidates for the person who pisses me off the most, but I think it goes to Putzy. For those of you don’t know him, he’s the little arsehole who goes around all the sites on the scene proclaiming his coding greatness and generally being an irritating little twat. He’s been known to steal domains from people and has this little n00b war going with Jack Wilson (whom I’m not particularly fond of either).

Next there is Joey of Susie fame, he’s a cunt of the highest order. In fact, I sometimes wonder if he has a life outside Susie whom he rapes with an iron fist. His hunger for power lead him to open up a so called “Parliament” so he could be mod of his own little section. Hard yet Joey? Yeah? Thought so.

These aren’t so much individuals, but the ignorance and stupidity of some people makes my blood boil, even over the internet. I hate people who slag off my domestic league without having any real knowledge about it, I hate people who slag off people I like and most of all, I fucking hate people who have a go at what I do in my spare time. At this moment I’m currently having a go at an unnamed mong (PeeJay) who likes to slag me off. I hate Swindon fans too, they all seem to be wankshafts, although it may all be the some guy, so sorry if it is. Olol.

I also become very irritated by people who are unable to use punctuation. I’m a grammar nazi and it becomes extremely irritating trying to read a sentence which is 20 lines long because someone has the inability to press one button. It’s sound if you’re dyslexic or some shit but otherwise you have no excuse, get it sorted or I’ll rape you.

Back onto individuals now…\o/

There was once a guy, I’m not sure if he’s on the scene anymore of whether he’s been banned from every site but his name varied from fhill69 to freddieisgod to something else stupid. He was hilarious, yet irritatingly retarded. And also a cunt. He irritated the fuck out of me too.

And now we move onto a Throw-In whore. Joaquin17. Jesus christ, what a mong. He reported me for overusing his mum ffs. He is partly being mentioned because I don’t like him and partly because I know I’ll get a reaction from him. He’s one of thsoe guys that annoys most people, and gets wound up easily \o/. Oh and Joe annoyed the hell out of me until I mentioned him, so that’s another reason too, he’s a ‘tard as well

Last but not least, we come to fmgod. We’ve had some well publicised arguments in the past, and credit where it’s due he has improved dramatically. But he still irritates me lots, but now it’s more to do with thefact he changes his opinions to suit the current trend and general consensus and also because he makes really bad jokes.

Well, wasn’t that fun? It wasn’t fun to write really, as I’d have rather wrote something more productive, but I’m in the mood for a rant \o/. I’m just disappointed it made me sound like an emo myspace user, but it’s sound.

Retaliation anyone?

Tactics and training…

It’s a relatively short one today due to me having to help set stuff up for my brothers 18th tonight. As well as various other chores, but it’s sound.

I was thinking about tactics last night. It was after one of my friends had been talking to me about how he discovered how to be shit hot at FM because he had managed to create himself a tactic which would suit to the needs of his team. Being honest I was still pretty clueless about it even after he explained it to me. So how much of an influence do your tactics really have on your game? Ever since I started playing FM I always had a rough structure of how I wanted my team to look like tactics wise before the game. I would set it up through the availability of certain players and fitness. It was not complicated in the slightest, there was the team instructions and then the structure, there were no individual player instructions and I’m not sure how much this actually mattered, whether I had been lucky, it made little difference or my team was just class. Once I had done this I manged to create myself a tactic which I used in every game I ever played, it won me 27 trophies with Juventus and a staggering 56 with Barcelona, all with this one tactic. And then it came to FM07, I set it up as I aways had, four at the back, three along the midfield, CM with an arrow to DMC and the two wingers with arrows to their respective forward positions. Then an AMC and two strikers. I thought this would be fine and dandy and I’d coast to the domestic treble and Champions League with Arsenal like I always did. How wrong I was, after 15 games I found myself languishing in 6th position, a good 8 points off the leaders. I exited at the hands of League Cup to Preston North End and was struggling in my Champions League group. I had no idea what to do, I was clueless with tactics because I had never done much apart from my own one and it couldn’t be a lack of talent because my team was shit hot. I came to the conclusion that over the last couple of versions that there has been more emphasis put on tactics than buying the right kind of players. This, in my opinion, is one of the major contributing factors as to why a lot of people have found the game a lot more challenging than previous versions, because you actually have to have some degree of knowledge of football tactics to do really well. (And for the record, I ended up winning the League, Champions League, and FA Cup somehow)

On top of this there is training, and I can honestly say it’s not something I care for too much, in the 05 times I’d just set it to my assistant’s duties. Then on 06 I took a little bit more of an interest since I was playing a career game and I managed to construct a basic schedule for the players but it seemed to make very little difference. So I conducted a little experiment. I would make a save game then split it into two, both with the same team and players, I’d give a basic schedule to one team, and a cheat schedule to the other then go on holiday for 6 months and at the end I would see the effect of this on the players. The results were conclusive, the players who had been on the basic schedule had trundled long stats wise but the ones with the cheat training had improved significantly. Now this isn’t to say you should go off to use a cheat training schedule to make your players world class, just to put a little more thought into your training.

Saying all the above though, I’m still absolutely clueless, and will be for some time.

OMFG U IZ GHEY!11one1!1!

With numerous websites and tens of thousands of eager males (I’m generalising, sorry to the girls, but you suck ) we’re bound to get clashes of personality and sometimes some rather close bonding. If you took a look at one specific topic, just any one from any website on the scene you’re bound to see some form of e-love. Whether it be two members telling each other how awesome they are or them engaging in some form of sexual innuendo. I myself have engaged in many acts of illegitimacy via the wonders of the internet, mostly involving that Bulgarian bloke with a peg leg or that drummer guy who is in love with me. I was wondering the other day, why do we act like this?

I have come to the conclusion that the main reason is that we are a bunch of horomonal guys, mostly around puberty age and have certain thoughts about certain things. That certain thing is sex, obviously, and we enjoy having a laugh with our e-buddy’s about how we want to penetrate them…or something. I’m of the opinion that due to there not being any regular females on the forums there is therefore no-one for us to show our masculinity so to speak. It’s instinct of males to show off to the females in order to gain favour, and since there is none we must do it to each other. It would be wierd in real life, knowing these are people who you’ve had metaphorical e-sex with, to just strike up a normal conversation considering so much of the interaction is a kind of flirting. I’ve spoken to a few people that I have come to know very well on the phone, and there is only really one I can speak to on the phone and there aren’t those awkward silences in between sentences where you say things like “Aw well…” and sigh. I think that it makes people feel better knowing they can come home and speak to total strangers about things that you wouldn’t normally discuss with your friends, like anal sex or beastiality. Another little more obscure advantage (and this is guesswork here, honest) is that maybe some people would have a laugh and joke with a 25 year old from London and it would help them discover what their sexuality is? Reading that over it sounds utterly stupid, but the thought of it makes me chuckle. Sorry if you’re actually in that position, but just rememer, don’t love the cock, because you’ll be the one who gets hurt.

Saying that though, I love gay banter. It’s just really entertaining and I’m sure many of you agree, well actually I know you do. One of my best mates is gay and I find it hilarious to just go up to him and pinch his arse. I’m totally comfortable with my sexuality though (which is straight by the way, sorry gayboys) but I’ll still engage in various cyber sex activities, because I’m in high demand and I have people to please or whatever. That reminds me of the time I found a pube on my keyboard, but that’s a story for another time….

A note to everyone: Firstly, I’ve joined the FM Worpress Community and I just wanted to recommend you check out a couple of the more established blogs, such as BlogFM and Crazy Team Talk, both are excellently written and entertaining. Secondly, don’t ask me to mention you somewhere, loads of people have asked me and quite frankly, IT’S FUCKING IRRITATING!

Anyway, until next time.

You cheating bastard…. (Part 1)

There are various methods which could be classed as ‘cheating’ in FM. The editor in whichever shape or form or FM Genie are the first two which spring to mind. Let’s take the former, I have been wondering what purpose it actually serves apart from giving people the ability to fanny about with the databases. I’m not sure how SI look at it but as someone who developed the game I’m not sure I’d be overly enthusiastic about giving somebody the power to destroy what I have spent so much time working on. But I guess they are trying to make it appealing to everyone. From a gamer point of view though it’s great. You can do so many different things, put yourself in the game, give your favourite club millions of pounds, make players you hate get injured (Robbie Savage please) and generally have fun. To some it’s a perfectly harmless tool, but to some tight arsed people it’s the ultimate tool of sacrilege. I was doing my usual rounds of the scene the other day and I read a thread where one guy was talking about how he used the editor to give his team some more money and have more fun, and this guy just jumped on him and gave him a verbal raping for it. I mean seriously, do you actually have a life? Or is that you do but your FM case is shoved so far up your arse you don’t realise it? Either way, people like that piss me off. I’m a self confessed ‘cheater’, for lack of a better expression. I’ve used it loads of times to make my game more interesting, due to me having the attention span of a goldfish with ADD.

I came to the conclusion that I’m really not good at Football Manager at all, I have no idea about tactics or training and the only thing I can do well is find good youth, but even at that I’m not Arsene Wenger. It’s become somewhat harder over the last couple of years, and in turn, people are looking for more methods to make their game easier. Another (more viable, I’d say) method of ‘cheating’ would be the use of the FM Genie Scout. For those of you who don’t know it’s tool in which you can look up various bit of infomation about players and clubs, like CA and PA’s, as well as sale value and the like. The excuse most tend to use is that they want to know what players’ PA is, but then that’s still cheating a little isn’t it? I mean you say you go to look for their PA, but of it’s a potential target then I know and you know that you’ll look at every other detail of theirs. I’ve done it before, and I’ve found it to be quite uninteresting and spoils my game, especially since I spend copius amounts of time scouting for players.

Part II is still to come, it’ll be looking atthe viability of downloads to your game, like tactics and training. So look out for that at some point in the next few weeks.

I also promised Joe I’d mention him, if we were in prison he’d be my bitch. He loves to drop the soap, apparently. I ws also just reading over this post and some of you my not find it particularly exciting, but I promise you, it’ll get better. I’m just testing the water, so to speak.

Until next time.

And so it begins….

I’m not one for bandwagons, but the blog revolution is something which interested me muchly. I was unsure how to start it off, tbh. Except to say that I hope this goes well, and you read it, otherwise no more sexual favours . I hope to update it every 2 days or so, this may fluctuate over the next few weeks due to me having exams, but it’s sound. FM > Exams.

I’ll include a bit of background about myself for those of you who don’t already know me. My name is Jordan, and I am the sex. Think of Hercules, Thierry Henry and a horse all thrown into one. (No prizes for guessing where the horse comes in). Heh. I’m a grand old age of 16 and am fair fond of a wank, a booze and a fag (that’s a cigarette, for you Yanks). I support the mighty ‘Gers and Arsenal. I have this habit of putting punctuation everywhere, by the way. It makes me wet knowing that the full stop is positioned perfectly, an exquisitely punctuated article is like a beautiful naked woman.

I lost my faith in Football Manager for a while, I had an amazing online game which spanned three seasons with GMD, needless to say I owned the little whiteboy. But after that I got my copy of FM07 and was less than impressed in all honesty. I thought it was quite boring for some reason, even though there were few differences from it’s predecessors. I’d have been gutted if I had actually paid money for it, luckily I received a copy from SI. Since then however, I regained my passion for it, although at times I tend not to play it for a few days, I’m not sure why, maybe I lose my desire or become frustrated.

Anyway, the posts here won’t have any specific subject, in fact it might change every day. Most will be a mix between scene stuff, general FM comments or just random jibbering on about pornography and Anna Kournikova. I’m undecided as to which will entertain you bunch of dirty bastards the most. I apologise also if you don’t like the colourscheme or general look, but I have about as much knowledge about coding and the like as Putzy does about honesty.

I think that’s enough of that now, all I’ll say is enjoy